Google Adwords/Adsense - Scam and Scam Again

Today, I received in the mail, what I thought was a happy harbinger of good tidings from Google. I've used their Adsense for the past 3 years, placing their scrolling banner ads across the pages of my website, in the hopes (and according to their contract)that they would pay me a small amount each month to do so. I rarely even think about it anymore, since they've never paid me one red cent. After having their advertising splayed out across my site for about a year, I once wondered "Why haven't they paid me?". I get clicks all the time to my site. Surely Google will make good on their promise of sending me at least one check, in due course, for having advertised them for so long. Nope. Read the fine print. They don't ever have to pay you if your site doesn't garner more than 15,000 hits a month. Doesn't seem like a lot when you consider that Perez Hilton gets a million hits a day, but I'm just an average working stiff. I don't advertise my site every second of every day, and I don't update it every day either. Still, Google has had 3 years of free advertising from me, and enough is enough.

So today, when I got a hefty envelope labelled "Google Adsense" I thought, "Hmm, maybe they made good on their promise afterall." I opened the envelope, and was mildly surprised, and only slightly annoyed. They had sent me $100 "Thank You Card". It actually says that on it. Seems like not too terrible a deal, right? They eventually sent me $100 gift card to use online. NOPE. Wrong again. What they had sent me was a $100 promotional card to use on some service they called GOOGLE ADWORDS. After a little research and signing in to the site, I found out that they now wanted ME to pay for THEIR FREE ADVERTISING ON MY SITE. I seriously almost shit my pants.

After a little more research, I found that these troglodytes actually wanted me to pay for THEM advertising MY site on those little sidebars, everytime you search in google. Okay, I thought, that makes a little more sense. And they did give me $100 to start my account with. I'll check it out and see if I can't direct a little more traffic to my site with this promotion that they're using. It makes more sense now.

In fact, it doesn't make any sense. I jumped through the twenty minutes of hoops setting up the account, and guess what? It won't accept the promotional card code without entering either A: A bank account number or B: Credit Card number.

Thanks Google, but FUCK YOU.



I'm so sick of these legal corporate scams. Why don't you just play ball the old fashioned and honest way? Instead you try to put so many hurdles in front of the rabbit, that he can't even see the carrot anymore. Pucker up buttercup and kiss my motherfucking, no longer advertising your stupid shit, ass, GOOGLE.