"He's twice the man I used to be!"

God bless us... everyone...



and for you, the viewer, a list of classy insults from days of olde.

Much thanks to Niki for the info!

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
admire." -- Winston Churchill


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." --
Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a
reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest
Hemingway)


"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from
big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no
time reading it." -- Moses Hadas


"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of
any man I know." -- Abraham Lincoln


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't
it." -- Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
friends." -- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new
play; bring a friend.... if you have one." -- George Bernard
Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.. if
there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having
you here." -- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John
Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others." -- Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." --
Paul Keating


"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr


"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't
cure." -- Jack E. Leonard


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert
Redford


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the
sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed


"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears,
but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -- James
Reston (about Richard Nixon)


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest
Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?" -- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever
they go." -- Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang
(1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder